# Say It Kindly Prompt Pack **Prepared by Isla Baird | Scrhoz** *15 simple prompts for the messages that are hard to write: an apology, a kind no, a boundary, a condolence, and a draft you wrote in anger.* ## How to Use This Pack - Copy a prompt, paste it into any AI assistant (ChatGPT, Claude, Gemini or similar), and replace each [BRACKETED] part with your own details. - Use first names or labels such as [FRIEND]. Leave out full names, addresses and anything you wouldn't want repeated. - Read each draft aloud and change it until it sounds like you. The words you send should be your own. - Take your time. A hard message can wait a day, and a draft you never send can still help you work out what you mean. > **Note:** These prompts are for everyday personal messages. They are not legal, medical or professional advice. If a situation involves your safety, a legal dispute or a formal process, please speak to a qualified professional or your local support services. Customs and rules differ from place to place, so check what applies where you live. ## Say Sorry, Say No ### 1. Set the Ground Rules ``` For this conversation, help me find the right words for a difficult message. Offer wording I can change, and keep my voice and my meaning. Ask me about the situation before you write anything, and don't assume what I want. Don't give legal or medical advice. If I seem to be writing in anger, help me slow down first. Reply with "Ready" and wait for my first request. ``` *Tip: Paste this first in each new chat. The AI doesn't carry it over.* ### 2. An Apology That Means It ``` I need to apologise to [PERSON, E.G. MY SISTER / A FRIEND / A COLLEAGUE] for [WHAT HAPPENED, BRIEFLY]. What I'm sorry for: [DESCRIBE]. What I'd like to happen next: [DESCRIBE]. Write a short apology of under [150] words that names what I did, says plainly that I'm sorry, and makes no excuses. Ask me first if anything is unclear. ``` *Tip: Say what you did in plain words. A vague apology is easy to doubt.* ### 3. Say No Without Slamming the Door ``` [PERSON] has asked me to [REQUEST]. I can't, because [REASON, OR "I'd rather not give a reason"]. Write three short replies that say no clearly and kindly: one warm, one brief, and one that offers a smaller alternative if I choose to. Don't over-explain, and don't apologise more than once. ``` *Tip: A short, clear no is easier to receive than a long, anxious one.* ### 4. Decline an Invitation Kindly ``` I've been invited to [EVENT] by [PERSON] and I'd rather not go. Our relationship: [CLOSE FRIEND / RELATIVE / NEIGHBOUR / COLLEAGUE]. Write a gracious reply of under [60] words that thanks them, declines, and keeps the door open if I'd like it open. Give me two versions, one with a reason and one without. ``` *Tip: You don't owe a long explanation. Thanks and a clear no are enough.* ## Boundaries and Feedback ### 5. Set a Boundary Gently ``` I need to set a boundary with [PERSON] about [WHAT HAPPENS, E.G. UNANNOUNCED VISITS / COMMENTS ABOUT MY CHOICES / LATE-NIGHT CALLS]. What I'd like instead: [DESCRIBE]. Write a calm message in the first person that says what I need, why it matters to me and what I'll do if it continues, with no blame and no threats. Keep it under [120] words. If this involves my safety, tell me that a message may not be the right step. ``` *Tip: Say what you will do, and leave what they must do out of it. It's easier to hold.* ### 6. Give Honest Feedback ``` I need to give feedback to [PERSON, E.G. A FRIEND / A TEAM MEMBER / A RELATIVE] about [WHAT HAPPENED]. What worked: [NOTES]. What I'd like to change: [NOTES]. Write a kind and clear message that describes what I saw, how it affected me and what I'm asking for. Keep it specific, and leave out any judgement about their character. ``` *Tip: Describe what happened. Leave the verdict on the person out of it.* ### 7. Ask for a Raise or Better Terms ``` I'd like to ask [MY MANAGER / A CLIENT / A LANDLORD] for [A RAISE / BETTER RATES / A LOWER RENT]. My reasons: [LIST]. The current situation: [BRIEF DESCRIPTION]. Write a short, courteous message that makes the request, gives my reasons and suggests a time to talk. Don't exaggerate or threaten. I'm in [COUNTRY], so tell me what I should check about local rules or customs. ``` *Tip: Ask for a conversation as well as the change. It gives you both some room.* ### 8. Reply to Criticism Calmly ``` Someone sent me this message: [PASTE, WITH NAMES REMOVED]. I'm feeling [FEELING]. Help me work out what, if anything, is fair in it. Then write a calm reply of under [120] words that acknowledges what's fair, states my view and doesn't escalate. Show me two versions, and don't send anything yet. ``` *Tip: Wait a day if you can. The reply you write tomorrow is usually kinder.* ## Care and Connection ### 9. Write a Condolence Message ``` Someone I know has lost [A PARENT / A PARTNER / A FRIEND / A PET]. My relationship with them: [DESCRIBE]. What I remember about the person, or what I'd like to say: [NOTES]. Write a short, sincere message of under [100] words in plain language, with no cliches and no advice. Offer something specific I could do if that suits, such as a call or a meal. ``` *Tip: A short message sent soon helps more than a perfect one sent late.* ### 10. Reconnect After Time Apart ``` I'd like to get back in touch with [PERSON]. We last spoke [WHEN], and [WHAT HAPPENED, E.G. WE DRIFTED APART / THERE WAS A DISAGREEMENT]. Write a short, warm message that says I've been thinking of them, avoids blame and asks for nothing big. Give me two versions, a light one and a more heartfelt one. ``` *Tip: A small first step is enough. Let them answer in their own time.* ### 11. Check In on Someone Who's Struggling ``` A friend, [FIRST NAME], seems to be having a hard time with [WHAT I'VE NOTICED]. Write a short message that lets them know I'm thinking of them, doesn't pry, and makes it easy to answer or not. Suggest two ways I could help later. If they might be in danger, remind me to contact local emergency or crisis services. ``` *Tip: A message that asks for nothing is easy to receive.* ## Fix My Draft ### 12. Make It Calmer ``` Here is a message I wrote while I was angry: [PASTE, WITH NAMES REMOVED]. Keep what I'm trying to say, and rewrite it calmly. Remove blame, sarcasm and exaggeration, and keep any facts or requests. Then tell me which lines you changed and why, and list the points I was making in a short list. Don't send anything. ``` *Tip: Keep the angry draft. There's often something true in it worth finding.* ### 13. Make It Shorter ``` Here is a message: [PASTE]. Cut it to about half its length without losing the main point or my tone. Show the shorter version, then list what you removed so I can put anything back. ``` *Tip: Put your main request in the first two lines.* ### 14. Make It Firmer ``` Here is a message: [PASTE]. It sounds too soft or too apologetic. Rewrite it so it's clear and firm but still polite, with no threats and no sarcasm. Keep my meaning, and point out the sentence you made firmest. ``` *Tip: Firm and kind can sit together. Polite doesn't have to mean vague.* ### 15. Make It Plainer ``` Here is a message: [PASTE]. Rewrite it in plain, everyday words. Remove jargon, long sentences and anything that sounds stiff, and keep my meaning and my voice. Show the plainer version and list any words you swapped. ``` *Tip: Read the result aloud. If you wouldn't say it, change it.* --- Where to go next, and more from Isla Baird: - [A Stoic Practice, in Plain Language Prompt Pack (15 prompts)](https://scrhoz.com/prompts/a-stoic-practice-in-plain-language-prompt-pack) [More from Isla Baird](https://scrhoz.com/authors/isla-baird) Free from [Scrhoz](https://scrhoz.com). Want more simple, useful tools like this? [Join the newsletter](https://scrhoz.com/newsletter).